I have refrained from writing over the last several weeks because I have experienced a series of unfortunate events. Car repairs, financial strain, job issues, and some medical concerns with one of my sons has left me depleted. I typically write positive, upbeat blogs because there is enough negative we hear each day and my desire is that people find hope and encouragement from my posts. Today's post is raw, but it is real.
I have been pretty upset with God over the last few weeks. Maybe you just read that statement and are shocked that I would admit frustration with God, but I am sure (at certain points in your life) you have experienced your own anger at God. The last few years of my life have been wrought with devastation, heartbreak, pain and loss. Frankly, I'm pretty tired and battle worn.
Some days I still wake up and wonder what the heck happened to my life? I miss ministry, I miss the church we planted, I miss the people who were in our church, I miss the house I used to live in, I miss having a whole family, I miss two incomes. Sometimes, I miss my old life.
Pain and deep loss are difficult to overcome. I have found that just when I work through one layer, another layer awaits me. Yet peeling through the layers is necessary and is where deep healing occurs. It's a brutal process, but I believe it is worth it. Allowing God to peel through my layers of pain is preparing me for the next step. God is not finished with me yet! I am on a journey to find purpose, even in the midst of the pain.
There can be purpose to pain. The purpose may be that we feel entitled to be mean and bitter. (I hope that all of us find more purpose that). Finding purpose in the middle of our pain doesn't mean that we skip through the daisies, so excited that tragedy hit our lives. It can mean WE make the choice to allow God to refine us, peel through our layers, heal us completely and allow Him open doors to share hope with other people.
I memorized this Scripture a year ago and am clinging to it as I allow God to peel away my layers. Isaiah 43:19 (NLT) says, "For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."
Perhaps you experienced a series of unfortunate events that left you angry and battle torn. Maybe God is peeling through your painful layers and you are weary and raw. If so, let the peeling and healing commence! Because when we surrender to God and allow Him to work in us, pathways of restoration WILL happen. Those "series of unfortunate events" can lead to a series of incredible open doors. When that happens, there is purpose to the series of unfortunate events.
If you are experiencing pain and tragedy, God is doing something new and is carving a pathway through your wilderness. The wasteland is the perfect backdrop for a beautiful new landscape to be created. That series of unfortunate events can lead to a whole new exciting chapter!
