Recently, a well meaning person asked me why my book, "Confessions of a Church Planter's Wife," was still in distribution since I'm not a church planter's wife anymore. Ouch. Her words cut like a knife and I responded in the most gracious and fumbled way I could. Our conversation left me wounded and with a sense of shame. The truth is, I have thought thousands of times that I should pull the book. It is true, I am not a church planter's wife anymore. I'm not a pastor's wife. I am not in ministry. I am divorced. My former life as a woman in full-time ministry seems like it was light years ago. Yet, I can't seem to let go of my passion for CP wives.
There is not a Sunday morning that goes by, that I don't miss ministry, and the craziness of church planting. Each week, I think of the wonderful CP wives I know and pray that God gives them strength as they hustle and bustle about on their Sunday morning. My heart aches for CP wives and each time one of them contacts me via email or Facebook, I feel honored.
I never wrote my book to gain kudos or make a ton of money. I wrote the book because of the gross lack of resources for a group of women who are heroines. My dream was that the book convey to CP wives they are not forgotten and they make a difference! Church plants would never happen without incredible women like CP wives who stay behind the scenes and work their butts off to see new church plants launch. CP wives rock!
I may not be a CP wife anymore, but I have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt. I understand the pain, the frustration, the exhilaration, the toll on the marriage and children, the financial pressure, and so on. I may not be in the trenches anymore, but I still pray for CP wives. I pray for strength, provision, protection on the marriage and children, and a sense of God's presence each day.
My head tells me to stop caring and move on with my life, but try and tell that to my heart. My heart still loves CP wives and longs for them to know, "what you do matters."
"What You Do Matters," was the theme of my book and honestly, I have struggled with wondering if the work and grit I poured into writing the book mattered at all. The conversation with the person I mentioned above, further plagued my musings. Then, I received a Facebook message from someone I have never met, who bought my book for his wife. He told me how inspired his wife was by the book and asked me to write her an encouraging letter, so he could place it in her stocking for Christmas. I was humbled and knew God had sent that person at just the right time to let me know, "Angie, what you did mattered."
For those of you who bought my book, I want to say thank you. I may not be a CP wife anymore, but a part of my heart will always beat for CP wives. I am cheering you on because, WHAT YOU DO MATTERS!
If you would like to purchase the book, here is the link on Amazon. It is also available on Kindle. http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Church-Planters-Wife-Planting/dp/1456547690/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386703355&sr=8-1&keywords=confessions+of+a+church+planters+wife
I read this post when you first put it up. I was struck by your courage to remain who you are in the face of whatever has happened, and your passion for this thing you are called to. Quietly Impressive, keep it up.
ReplyDeleteBob Hamp
Great blog post. I think the answer is simply "because it is". IT is still relevant, it is still important, it is still crucial to the lives of CPs.
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