It seems that on days I feel particulary feisty and rebellious that a certain saying or Scripture verse will emerge so many times, that I wonder if perhaps God is trying to tell me something? I would like to believe this type of phenomenon is pure coincidence, but when I see it on Facebook, read it in a devotion, hear about it at church, and have a friend share it with me, I can't help but pay attention.
The verse and concept that has haunted me constantly over the last month says, "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.|" (Galatians 6:9, NLT). This verse should serve as a motivator and spur me to live the way God has called me to, yet this verse comes at a time when I'm weary of doing the "right things."
Last week, I had an amazing pity party and was angry and hurt because someone walked all over me. I felt trampled, taken advantage of and downright ticked! I reasoned that I would no longer be a doormat and that I was done being nice. That's when the haunting began....
I wrestled with my feelings of hurt, my own desires, my pride, and this Scripture. All week, I was bombarded with this verse in every way, shape and form. Even to the point where Martina McBride's song, "Anyway," came on the radio. Gag. The week of haunting came to a head as I attended church and my Pastor, (the amazing John Snyder) spoke on loving, and doing good....Anyway.
As you read this, I imagine you feel the tightness in your chest. You probably feel conflicted as you envision the many times you've "done good," only be to be walked all over. Maybe you too, have vowed to stop being so nice, and put up walls of protection, so that you are no longer anyone's DOORMAT!
Now that you are all riled up, I'll share some of my conclusions. You are welcome to take them or leave them, but in all honesty, the "haunting" might commense for you too. (Sorry).
Perhaps you loved someone with everything in you, and they shattered your heart. Maybe you showed kindess to someone who has been hurtful many times. It's possible you've spent the majority of your life "doing good," only to find that you seem to be on the short end of the stick, most of the time. At this point, you may be tempted to have your own pity party and declare you are no longer a doormat. Well, you're welcome to do that, but I propose something else.
Love, ANYWAY. Be kind, ANYWAY. Do good...ANYWAY. Why? Because doing the "right things," brings a harvest of blessing. Not because you win the lottery, and not because life all of a sudden becomes peachy. Not because someone drops a $500 Nordstrom giftcard on your doorstep (sorry to insert my own dream here). That harvest of blessing comes BECAUSE you chose to do the right things, ANYWAY. Sometimes the greatest blessing in doing the right things is peace. It's being able to lay your head on your pillow, knowing you acted with honor. You will never regret acting with honor.
My fear for myself, and anyone struggling with doing the "right things," is that we will miss out on the greatest of blessings. I've been shattered, and I've been tempted to wall my heart in so tight, that no one will ever hurt me again. (It doesn't mean we allow those who hurt us to continue. Boundaries are okay) Yet when I live as a recluse, not allowing myself to love, I am empty and miserable. It's only when we choose to do the right things (ANYWAY) that we experience the most joy and the harvest of blessing. May we ALL be haunted by this verse and this concept! At the end of the day, no one ever regrets doing the right things. No regrets? Now, there's a blessing!
I'm going to go check my doorstep for that Nordies gift card now.... My name is Angie and these are my confessions.....
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